Hey Remember That Super Bowl Party? Yea, Neither Do We

The Apartment 718 Super Bowl weekend festivities?

Vote Or Umm… Dont?

With all the craziness going around Duan (She’s no longer an abbreviation, but a name, to me) these days surrounding the Deadspin Commenter Bracket, I thought I should start doing a little campaigning. Afterall, with the half naked pictures some of the commenters are putting up, how’s a guy to compete?

I know. Post my own.

Now don’t let this sway your vote or anything, but uhh… check out I Party With Smoot at his hottest:

Countdown: 8 Days… Till The Most Anticlimactic Game Of The Year

No other sport’s final game presents more hype and promise than the Super Bowl. No other sport draws the abnormally high price per ticket, television ad or strip club entry fee than the NFL’s championship game. But no other sport disappoints on such a consistent basis.

Ravens hire Cameron; Know Not What This NFL Sunday Ticket Thing Is.

The Baltimore Ravens hired a new offensive coordinator Wednesday, and to some it might be a bit of a surprise.

Mom! There’s A #### In My Cereal!

In an effort to become a more cultured apartment, we’ve asked our new roommates to each write a post that doesn’t relate to sport. We know we’re very limited outside of that niche, but we trust the new guys won’t pull an A-Rod and disappear in the clutch. Shit. This is going to be tougher than we thought.

Today we unleash our newbie, ZekeCorporatePlan. His thoughts on Target, phallic icons and the relation between the two, after the jump.

Oh, Hey. Roommates. Cool.

Whew. That was a well needed hiatus.

Ok, so it was only two days, and nobody even noticed we were gone. Point is, we’re back. And we’ve got ourselves some roommates. Yep. Apartment 718 is a three-bed, 1 bath now. (We share a toilet. What?) This sudden, unexpected twist to our once comfy living quarters means two things — new writers and the ability to refer to ourselves as we! Three days ago, I was an I. Now I’m a we. Awesome.

Anyway, while the 718’s main focus is sports, new writers means we get to branch out and explore other areas of limited expertise. No word on what those other categories will be, but if more people plan on living in this apartment, the least they can do is pay their rent in the form of amusing blog posts. We don’t ask much of our tenants.

Over the next few days, the other roomies will get a proper introduction. Not tonight, though. Tonight is reserved for drinking, fighting and snorting coke off the nipples of midget strippers.

NFL Postcards: Round I

So there I was, hangin’ out around University Dr. and Honey Hill Rd., down in sunny South Florida. The air was hot and stuffy, the sun was blazing over my head and my balls were sticking to the side of my leg. Just a typical day in Miami. A typical day, until I went snooping in the garbage can outside of Dolphin Stadium. After the jump, see what the other side of the above post card holds in store…

Forget Romo. Eli Manning Has His Own Distractions

With all the talk surrounding Tony Romo’s Cabo trip with girlfriend, Jessica Simspon during the bye week, little was made of the other quarterback’s activities in the days leading up to the NFC East, playoff showdown.

Not Even Ghidrah Can Stop The Chargers

Everything was going right for the Colts. They finished the season strong despite missing key players along the way. Had a bye week to get those players healthy. They were home. And Norv Turner was to be on the opposing sideline. What the Colts didn’t expect was the arrival of Norvzilla.

Thousands upon thousands of Indianapolites(?) screamed in terror as Norvzilla sent his evil sidekicks, MothRivers and MechaChambers onto the field to wreak havoc on the Colts secondary. When that wasn’t enough, Norvzilla took matters into his own hands, freezing the officials with his ice cold breath. In the second half, Indianapolis brought out their very own superhero to try and mount a counterattack. Peyton Chesneyinthebutt threw his golden passes, but it wasn’t enough. He could only stand idle as the monsters of San Diego smashed houses, goal posts and everything else in their way. When the dust settled, there was no question who the victors were.

Next week: Norvzilla faces his most dangerous adversary — The Mole.

Top 10 Obscure References To Athletes In Music

This list is bullshit. It’s not so much a Top 10 of All Time as it is a Top 10 of a Small Sampling of Songs That I’ve Come Across While Illegally Downloading Music on Limewire. Or something. So don’t get all pissy when you don’t see your favorite Pavel Kubina lyric on this list. Just go ahead and add your own list in the comments. (But you’re gonna be hard-pressed to beat my top 3. Fair warning.)

(Update: Apparently SI.com ran a similar article in 2006. But it kinda sorta sucked. I’m just as shocked as you.)