It’s Friday and you know what that means–another video from our pal Dennis Bunnicelli.
Recently, 50 Cent had beef with Rick Ross. (That sentence sounded ridiculous when I read that aloud, by the way.) I’m not really sure why there was beef. Or who had the beef first. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure these two were still rapping. Whatever. All I know is that it’s caused Dennis Bunnicelli to throw his own rap into the mix.
Be sure to wear neutral gang colors while watching this video.
Next week, I show off my new camera, unveil Phase II of my Shaq experiment and go one-on-one with Dennis Bunnicelli in the most gripping interview since whatever the last most gripping interview was.
Enjoy your weekend.
With Shaq coming to town next week, I thought it’d be a good time to try a fun project…
Operation: Please Shaq Acknowledge My Existence
My fascination with Shaq’s Twitter page isn’t much of a secret around here. And after reading these stories, I gotta say, the man might just be insane. But, hey, he’s having fun with some fans, and that’s more than I can say for some other athletes.
But if he’ll acknowledge two pasty white guys in a diner out west, why not this pasty white guy in Miami?
Phase I:
SHAQ, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, FEEL FREE TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING IMAGE YOUR MAIN TWITTER PICTURE.
Consider it a gift from me to you. (And don’t even think about offering me tickets to the Suns/Heat game. No, really, don’t. I swear, I won’t accept them. And I definitely won’t accept them if they’re courtside… Ok, fine. Maybe courtside.)
Let’s see if this reaches the big guy.
Filed under: Oddly Amusing
A man will leave his house, step into his car and begin his day. He’ll drive 55mph, just as the sign on the side of the road suggests. When in close proximity to a school, he’ll slow down to 15mph. After passing the school, he’ll patiently wait, with his foot on the brake, for the small red light in the middle of the intersection to turn green. He’ll put his right turn signal on as he pulls into the parking lot of a convenience store, navigating the lot to find a space to park, making sure to leave the handicap spots open for those with wheelchairs. After all, you can get a ticket for such things.
And then, he’ll walk inside, shoot the armed guard, the woman behind the counter and the man in isle 3 who was in the middle of picking out a candy bar, in order to pocket the $37 in the register.
The moral: People are more terrified of traffic citations than they are of a lifetime prison sentence.
Allow me to take this Monday morning to welcome the newest member of the Smoot family. We expect her arrival in the next 7-10 business days. I already wanna pinch her cheeks and spoil her with gaudy lenses.
Last weekend, I brought you the glorious work of Kige 2.0–otherwise known as Dennis Bunnicelli. This Friday, and every Friday from here on out, I’ll be ending the week with a Bunnicelli news report.
Today, the beheading of a Pakistani house wife. Bitch shoulda’ washed those dishes like he asked.
Please, enjoy.
