Filed under: Announcements, Social Experiments, Terrible Relationship Advice
I’m not entirely sure why women feel the need to play match-maker every time one of their single friends bitches to them about how much it sucks to masturbate alone on a Friday night. Every woman does it, and no woman is very good at it. “Here, I know you can’t get a date because you’re 7 different types of nuts, so I’d like to introduce you to a guy I know, who hasn’t had a date in 4 years because he’s 40 and still refers to the woman who gave birth to him as mommy.”
What could possibly go wrong?
Ladies, you have a hard enough time grasping the concept of 2nd and 7. What makes you think you can solve relationships: life’s most complicated mystery?
Men, on the other hand, are really good at this. Take me, for example. A friend of mine recently complained that he couldn’t find the right girl. And did I scroll through my phonebook and randomly set him up with one of my slutty, relationship-challenged friends? No.
What? Say what you will, but this is a lot more efficient than anything a woman will ever do for him.
So, please, pass this around. Send it to your friends and have them send it to their friends, who should then pass it on to their parents and loved ones. Help this man find the right girl.
And at the very least, you’ll be helping him avoid the torture of being set up by his female friends.
It’s Monday, and you know what that means, don’t you? (Besides that you’re at work and hating your seemingly meaningless life.)
It means that you have to look at more of my shitty pictures.
This weekend, I messed around with my camera and tried to learn something new. I did. Whether it wound up looking cool or not is a totally different story. Apparently, on these fancy shmancy cameras, you can change the shutter speed. And while I knew that was a helpful tool in taking pictures at night, I had no idea you could use it to make really cool, trippy, streaks of light appear on an otherwise boring photo. (See: above) All you have to do is slow down the shutter speed, snap the picture and then shake the shit outta the camera, and you can tell people that you’re artsy. Fuck yea. I’m deep.
Or something.
There are also a few other new shots on the Flickr page that don’t look like the inside of a laser tag arena, so feel free to check those out, as well.
Ahhhh, Friday. The work week winds down, the beer starts to pour and you start to contemplate life’s most important questions. Why is the sky blue? Why is the Earth round? What would Dennis Bunnicelli say if he could only speak in 140 characters?
Perhaps he would say this:
bout to go bowl with my team and win this money bitches
Yes, Friday. The day you learn that your favorite thugged-out YouTube celebrity is on Twitter… and a Friday night bowling team.
Enjoy your weekend, folks. And if you really need another place to criticize me until Monday, check out the Flickr account. I promise it’ll have some new stuff for you to make fun of.
Filed under: Cheaters, Guilty Pleasures, Joey Greco, Your Pitiful Life Amuses Me
One of the greatest shows to ever grace my television is Cheaters. I have no problem ranking it ahead of Different Strokes, Baywatch or even Silk Stalkings. It’s like Cops meets Blind Date… only 100X funnier.
Take the above clip for example; it’s got all the makings of a perfect shit storm. Maybe it’s the seemingly hot girlfriend who’s probably a lot more psychotic than the video lets on. Or maybe it’s mom. Or maybe it’s the overabundance of trailer park cliches. Or the dumpster diving. Okay, fine, it’s absolutely the getaway car at the 6:20 mark.
Whatever it is, this show is like crack for the eyeballs, and Joey Greco is my dealer.
And in case you were wondering, mom, crack makes the perfect holiday gift…
