Death, You Are My Bitch Lover
November 6, 2007, 12:29 am
Filed under: Holy McFat Ass Batman, Surviving Death

You tell that mean pizza!

So it’s been about 24 hours since McD-Day and still no ill effects. Well, I can’t say none. I didn’t make it to work today because my body felt like it got hit by a train. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the result of the pizza though — just me being sick. Purely coincidence. But, if it was the pizza, then holy shit, this thing is a secret weapon we should be using to fight the war on terror. I was in bed today, with no ability to perform everyday functions until about the time the sun went down again.

But yes, I am alive. Thanks for caring.

Oh, and sorry to disappoint those of you calling dibs on my stuff. Maybe during my next edible adventure, you’ll get lucky.

The Fatty McFat Ass (Semi) Live Blog
November 4, 2007, 11:52 am
Filed under: Holy McFat Ass Batman

Here we go kids! Follow along after the jump… Continue reading

Fetch Me My Stomach Pump
November 3, 2007, 11:22 pm
Filed under: Holy McFat Ass Batman

There are kids in third world countries who don’t have food and have never even heard of a computer. I am in possession of both. In fact, one of my computers is down, so I’m writing this on my backup computer. If this one were to fail me, I could still do this entire thing from my phone.

And what better way to shove it in the face of !Xobile and his village than to use my vast array of technology to chronicle the preparing , and subsequent eating, of a meal big enough to feed an entire third world nation. Whatever. Not my fault they’re too stupid to build a McDonalds over there.

Anyway, the festivities start tomorrow morning (Whenever I wake up), as I’ll be live-blogging the entire event. Well, maybe not completely live, since I have a softball game and errands to run in the morning, but mostly live. Either way, it’ll be fun for the whole family, complete with witty commentary* and pictures for visual stimulation. (In case you want to see what a heart attack looks like in the form of a pizza.) Leave me some ideas in the comments if you can think of anything I should be doing to enhance this experience.

*Commentary might become less witty over the course of the night, as I stuff my face full of McDonalds goodness. It’s impossible to be witty and a complete fat ass at the same time — as much as Frank Caliendo would beg to differ.