New Years with Adam Smoot

newyears

As I sat down on the couch, alone in the apartment, and turned on the TV, I realized something: this whole New Years thing? It’s a tad overrated. Nothing happens, really, except you have to go out and buy a new Playboy calendar. You never wake up to anything new or exciting the next day, other than having the day off from work. There are no flying cars or robot maids, like the Jetsons promised. It’s just a night of drunken shenanigans that leads to a day of hungover television. Take my night, for example.

At 10:57pm, I checked FOX to see what they had in store for the night. Apparently, what they had in store, was a boring Robby Knievel stunt and a not-so-subtle American Idol promotion. Ugh. Instead, I turned to ESPN, who had their own XGames-style stunts planned in Vegas, but without the torture of David Cook. When, exactly, did New Years Eve become synonymous with putting your life at risk by means of stupidity?

The first of ESPN’s two awesome pretty cool ultimately lame stunts was Rhys Millen’s attempt at flipping his truck 360° and successfully landing right-side-up. You know, unlike last year. How did he fare this New Year’s Eve? Let’s go to the tape.

Oops. You know, for someone who didn’t exactly stick the landing, he got an awful lot of applause. What’s with that? Just because he didn’t die this time? Since when do we celebrate mediocrity?

The second stunt of the night–one that didn’t take place until nearly 12:20am–was Robbie Maddison jumping his bike to the top of the Arc de Triomphe at the Paris Las Vegas. I cannot even begin to describe how stupid this idea is. Not that I don’t like watching certain death, but really, there’s nothing enticing about watching a man plummet 120 feet after missing a landing. Of course, he wound up pulling it off (As you can see from the video below.), but it was one of the most mind-numbingly boring death-defying acts you’ll ever seen in your life. (As you can see from the video below.) Shouldn’t these things be exciting?

The ESPN show started at 11pm and didn’t end till Maddison’s jump, sometime around 12:30am. That’s right. Two stunts in an hour and a half, and they almost forgot to go to the ball drop. They ultimately did, but not till about 11:59:10pm, at which point only one jump had been attempted, but a shit ton of back story had been explained. Perhaps if I were sober, I would’ve remembered some of that stuff.

Either way, it’s now 2009 and the world is officially changed. Or something.

Enjoy your year.

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