Matt Mosley Makes My Eyes Bleed
March 8, 2009, 7:42 am
Filed under: Matt Mosley, My Head Hurts, NFL, Terrell Owens

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I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of Terrell Owens. At all. But…

Fuck you, Matt Mosley.

Seriously, you make me want to smack my roommate in the face with a frying pan. I fucking hate lazy analysis. It’s the bane of the sports world. It’s why I can’t watch ESPN or listen to Joe Rose in the mornings. (Though, I suppose that’s also because Joe Rose has the IQ of an autistic 3rd grader.) No really, Matt. Good job on the T.O.-bashing yesterday. It’s just too bad you didn’t take the time to look into what you were writing, did you? Because it took me all of 5 minutes to find out exactly how full of shit you actually are.

For the first paragraph or two, you had Owens pretty much pegged. No, he’s not a guy that’ll get you a jump ball (though, neither was Marvin Harrison or Jerry Rice.), but couldn’t you just stop there? I mean, the whole point of the piece was to criticize his alleged ball-skills, which is a legitimate gripe. But this shit fucking infuriated me:

He’s someone who will make a lot of big plays, but Bills fans should prepare themselves for several three-catch, 38-yard afternoons. He accounted for more than 400 of his yards this season in wins over the Eagles and 49ers. In pretty much every other game, he put up pedestrian numbers.

My eyes are bleeding right now.

Here are some of T.O.’s stats this past year (the rest are here):

Week 1: 5 catches, 87 yards, TD
Week 2: 3 catches, 89 yards 2 TDs.
Week 3: 7 catches, 74 yards, TD
Week 5: 2 catches, 67 yards, TD
Week 12: 7 catches, 213 yards, TD
Week 13: 5 catches, 98 yards, TD
Week 16: 5 catches, 63 yards, TD
Week 17: 6 catches, 103 yards

Those don’t look very pedestrian, and they account for 8 of the 16 games the Cowboys played. Of the pedestrian games I assume Mosley was referring to, Owens still had a touchdown in 2 of them, Romo was out for 3 of them and stunk like holy hell in 2 of games when he came back. It’s also real convenient that Mosley tries to dismiss almost a full quarter of the season by not counting the San Fran game or either of the Eagles games.

What’s most annoying about the piece are the last few lines:

At the end of the season, his stats will look pretty solid. But then you realize he didn’t help you win any big games. The Cowboys didn’t win a playoff game in T.O.’s three years. You can’t pin it all on him, but then, alleged superstars are supposed to will you to victories.

No, you fuckface. You had it right before the comma. You can’t blame it all on him. If alleged superstars are supposed to will you to victories, then Dan Marino is a fucking failure. If I’m to believe the shit you’re spewing, Peyton Manning was never the guy who couldn’t get it done in Indy (pre-SB win). We were all wrong. It was Marvin Harrison’s lame ass that held them back all those years.

Go fuck yourself, Matt Mosley.

Right. In. The. Ear.

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