Hollywood Insists On Raping My Childhood
April 30, 2009, 8:00 am
Filed under: Comic Books, I Never Learn, Wolverine, X-Men


I would like to state, for the record, that I am completely terrified of the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie that comes out this weekend at midnight.

Frightened beyond belief, actually.

You can fuck up when you’re making a movie about an entire super group. (And trust me, they have.) You can play around a little, fudge a storyline, miss a detail and get away with it. When a story is based around only one character though–a character with such a ridiculously detailed, yet confusingly mysterious background, no less–there’s not all that much room to take “creative liberties” with the plot. You kinda have to nail that bitch.

I’ve always liked that Wolverine’s back story was so shrouded in mystery. It was a story within a story, but your mind was the one deciding where it went. Now, I feel like I’m about to be force-fed all the things I didn’t want to know.

Of course, I’ll still go to see it on opening night. And I’ll probably be entertained, if only because I’ve been waiting to see how they portray Gambit for 3 movies already. But I can’t help but think that when the initial buzz wears off, I’ll feel like my childhood had been tied up and sodomized by an adamantium claw.

You’d think I’d learn my lesson after X-Men 3: The Last Stand.

I haven’t.



1 Comment so far
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I’m sure the studio greatly appreciates your $8.50. Can you still see a movie that cheap in Miami? Wow, I just called $8.50 for a movie ticket cheap. I’m gonna go lie down.

Comment by TattooedMess(iah)

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