An Open Letter to the Jackass Who Hit My New Car
July 2, 2009, 8:00 am
Filed under: Angry Smoot Will Stab You In The Eye, Open Letters

bumperding

(Haven’t done one of these in a while, but man is this gonna feel good…)

Dear Fuck Face,

How the fuck do you hit a parked car?

You were driving in reverse(?!?) down a one way street with cars parked on both sides of you. There was no way you could have missed the large vehicles surrounding you. All you had to do was hold the fucking wheel steady and you would’ve been fine. But, of course you couldn’t do that. You had to drive backwards and diagonally, right into my bumper… and then proceed to keep going like you had no idea. If I hadn’t looked you in the face and gave you the “Are-you-THAT-stupid?” look, you’d still be obliviously backing up.

That was my new car. Not a single fucking scratch on it.

Fuck.

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Apartment718

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