Utah Boy Survives Alone in Woods with TV Survival Tactics (AND CHILDREN’S BOOK)
June 24, 2009, 8:00 am
Filed under: I Hate Television, Stupid Kids


Saw this in a story about a kid who got separated from a hiking group over the weekend:

Grayson watches “Man vs. Wild” on the Discovery Channel every week with his brothers and his dad. On the show, host and adventurer Bear Grylls strands himself in the wilderness and then shows viewers how to survive the sticky situations.

That’s where Grayson says he learned to leave clues behind to help searchers find him.

Really? Leaving clues behind is something Bear Grylls taught him?

Maybe if the little shit would’ve spent more time reading and less time in front of the TV, he wouldn’t have needed to watch a man drink his own urine just to find out about leaving a trail of bread crumbs. That probably could’ve been learned by, oh, I don’t know, reading Hansel and FUCKING Gretel.

This story just adds to my disdain for that ridiculous show that Discovery Channel tries to pass off as educational television. My old roommate tried to sell me on this, but I was having none of it.

I mean, to whom is this show helpful? Odds are, if you’re the type of person who watches Bear Grylls to learn something about surviving, you’re probably not the person who leaves the couch unless ultimately necessary. Conversely, if you’re already someone who backpacks through the Amazon, then I’m pretty sure you don’t need a walking jackass to tell you how to do your thing,

Let’s just stop pretending he’s teaching us something when he’s really just there for entertainment.

And kid, read a fucking book.